Navigating your single season shouldn’t mean creating a habit of always yearning for what’s next; especially when you’re not properly preparing for it. Instead, find joy in the power that lies in self-discovery and growth. Here are five guaranteed ways to practice intention on your journey, ensuring that this time is simply and solely about you and your personal fulfillment.
1. Work on Embodying Your Dream Version of Yourself
It can be easy to focus on all the things your ideal partner should be in order to be a perfect fit for you. It’s also quite simple (and fun) to romanticize a future version of yourself. But, how often do we neglect the opportunity to begin developing that version of ourselves right at this moment. In the vision of my future life, I am a woman that rises early to workout before devoting the rest of my day to my career, family, etc. I realized that while I may not have a family or super successful business yet, waking up early to move my body is a habit I can start creating now. So, think of the woman you are aspiring to be. What are her daily habits? What does she value? How does she take care of herself, and show up for other people? What kind of community has she cultivated? How does she spend her free time? From there, focus on the ways you are able to become that person now.
2. Go Deep
Healing isn’t linear, so don’t make the mistake of believing that your growth has an all encompassing point of arrival. Because it doesn’t. But, as we evolve, we are given the chance to learn ourselves inside out and having a deep understanding of yourself and your triggers may be one of the greatest gifts you give to your future partner. So, take your time, sit in the feelings of discomfort. Make an appointment to go talk to the lady. Don’t be afraid to dig deep and heal what’s going on within your spirit.
3. Figure Out What You Actually Need in a Partner
The double-edged truth is that dating is subjective. There is no one way to be successful at it. There isn’t even one way to measure the success of it at all. With books, and Twitter, and parents, and TikTok and self-proclaimed relationship gurus throwing love advice at you from every angle about what you should or shouldn’t want, figuring out what you actually need in a person can easily get lost in the sauce. (Also why having a deep understanding of yourself is essential in beginning to understand what qualities in another person would be complementary to you.) But, knowing what you need in a partner provides direction in your dating life. It helps you focus on compatible individuals who align with your values, goals and lifestyle. Which not only reduces time and energy wasted on seeds that won’t bear fruit, but also the risk of you settling for just good enough. Mapping out your preferences versus your non-negotiables keeps you from compromising on relationship aspects that are important for you to be happy. It gives you a chance to set boundaries and communicate needs more effectively – in turn, identifying potential partners that have the capacity to respect and support your emotional well-being.
4. Reconnect with Your Inner Child
As adults, we often lose touch with the simple joy and curiosity that characterizes childhood. Even when we’re intentional, it can be difficult tapping into the type of wonder that leads into new interests and adventures that ultimately enrich our solo experiences. Conversely, many of us carry unresolved wounds into adulthood that easily become too burdensome to deal with. Maybe they’re too uncomfortable, or we’re just too burnt out to even notice them. Creating the space to connect with your inner child allows you to not only nurture your inner spirit and heal those wounds. It also gives you a chance to explore new possibilities of authentic expression. This type of engagement infuses your single journey with a sense of lightheartedness that makes the experience a lot less “daunting”.
5. Focus on Building and Pouring Into Your Community
They say it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to support an adult. Translation: it is unfair for us to expect one person to fulfill our every need. Especially as women. We are layered, with a lot of evolving parts. It’s important for you to prioritize building solid relationships outside of romance. That way, when you meet your person, not only are you a more well-rounded individual with some kind of social life, but you also aren’t putting the pressure on them to be your everything.
